Thursday “Throw Away” Thinking: The Should Have’s

 

I should start this post by telling you that I was going on about “clearings” (see below) and the “laws of attraction” to my husband on a road trip last week and he was like, Madigan, that’s from The Secret and it isn’t real science. And then I was like, grrrrr, and then I tried to explain how positive reinforcement creates compounding positive results over time thereby creating something big out of something once small and he was like…no. So my pseudo-science explanation did not make a believer out of him, but in my practice I see it all the time and it works. Promise. So read below…

A client had a cool image she brought into session. It was of a clearing. She said whatever I spend time thinking about is what I attract into my clearing. So if I think about all the things I failed to do, or all the things I did wrong, I’m attracting all sorts of negative stuff into my clearing. And that’s what it will be filled with if we aren’t careful.

When I apply that to my own thinking, it occurs to me that every time I tell myself I should have done something better, or didn’t do something else enough, I’m really just filling my clearing with disappointments and shame.

So thinking about what we want, what we are grateful for, what we did well at. That begins to bring positive energy into our clearing. And we feel energized and excited to keep going. The should have’s have a strong negative pull and will attract more of the same.

It’s not all that simple, I know. And this is a pastiche that could use some editing. But the clearing image has a way of demonstrating how to be intentional about what we feed ourselves – the thoughts I mean – and how it shapes the mood of the clearing we reside in.

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